Poll

Waifia RP?!?!

Why the HELL is this a poll and not a new thread?
10 (50%)
I might drop in from time to time.
7 (35%)
Really?  You want more RP after all that?!  Get a life.
3 (15%)

Total Members Voted: 19

Author Topic: No Waifu No Laifu Mafia- Nothing Bad Ever Happens In This Town  (Read 61158 times)

Offline woolyshambler

No Waifu No Laifu Mafia- Nothing Bad Ever Happens In This Town
« on: September 10, 2015, 01:12:45 am »
Missiles streaked overhead, cluster bombs detonated furiously, and the staccato rasp of machinegun fire answered with the whine of laser weapons filled the air as the various users of the Hyperspace Forums descended upon each other, screaming and tearing into friend and foe alike.  Such was the madness of the 743rd Waifu Wars to consume the FTL commbox…

As he watched the other members of the Hyperspace Forums and their waifus/husbandos wage eternal war for the right to declare BEST waifu/husbando, WoolyShambler could barely contain his scorn as each and every conflict came to a brutal conclusion without clear victor and with the death of all commbox communications and conversational coherence.

Staying above the fray (most some of it anyways), WoolyShambler won by default and assumed the title of the One True Mafia GM.  Known previously as that random lurker who writes that novelization (who reads that anyways!?), WoolyShambler now used his sweeping powers to settle the conversation once and for all (maybe).

“You horndogs who have with words, pictures, perverseness, and kinkiness waged endless waifu warfare, who built a tower of mrgw corpses that rises to the sky and call yourselves wise, answer me this:  What is the difference between you and this?”



In the face of their commbox logs and sexually suggestive forum avatars, excuses were meaningless.

And then WoolyShambler spoke:

“You twenty hopeless otakus who call yourselves wise, use your wisdom and wits, your cunning and manipulation, to build a tower of Mafia and prove to me your waifu/husbando deserves recognition as SUPERIOR!”

Snapping his fingers, WoolyShambler created the world anew and the twenty players found themselves in a charming, idyllic hamlet overflowing with rustic charm, yet preserving all the wonderful amenities of the modern world.  Each player found that they had been granted their waifu/husbando of choice by WoolyShambler’s graces and a delightful little cottage to live in, play house, and… er… play other things.  On the hill yonder, WoolyShambler’s impressive mayor’s manor rose overlooking the town, where he and his waifu, Laura Bodewig, graciously greeted the village’s newcomers, hosting an icebreaker session in their parlor (with tea and biscuits) and opening up their manor for all players to partake in... well, just about anything you can imagine really. 

Of course, the village’s peaceful facade was exactly that; a superficial disguise for a dark game, rife with intrigue, backstabbing, and villainous murder and execution, for not every player had chosen a peace-loving waifu/husbando, nor had they themselves given up their ambitions to prove that their waifu/husbando was better than everyone else’s. 

So began the story of No Waifu No Laifu Mafia.

Day 2- Samu's Space Whale Yacht Club
Night 2- Rev's on a Boat
Day 3- Waifus on a Plane
Night 3- Waifu's Eve
Day 4- The Waifu(s) Who Stole Christmas
Night 4- Naughty or Nice?
Day 5- Law and Order: Waifu Victims Unit
Night 5- Seriously Blind Justice
Day 6- In Memorandum
End Game- Nothing Bad Ever Happens In This Town

Players:
1. WeAreTheMeta
2. GamerJunkie27
3. Revontulet
4. Pal
5. Verthand
6. Elvis Strunk
7. Merne23
8. ShadowX
9. mrgw4
10. whalecow Arraxis
11. Marx-93
12. The Nothing
13. Napsy NAPS GamerJunkie27
15. John Titor
16. Duke Rockhopper
17. Jynx
18. whydidibuytheunionfrigate
19. Deeox2
20. GrayCat

With 20 alive, it takes 11 to lynch.
Deadline: ACKNOWLEDGING that some poor sod(s) of a player will be killed on Night 1 and COMMISERATING with their prematurely terminated RP opportunities (i.e. descending into the den of kinkiness and suggestiveness this thread is sure to denigrate into) with their chosen waifu/husbando, Day 1 will last at least until 9/12/15 12:00 AM EST, longer if players are having fun and wish for an extension.

Rules:

1. No Outside Communication

Do not discuss the game outside the game thread with other players, unless you have a role that allows you to do so.

2. No editing posts

Do not edit your posts. Reading over people’s posts is crucial for allowing players to scrutinize each other. If you edit your posts repeatedly, you will be removed from the game.  If you need to clarify or correct something, double post rather than edit.

3. No quoting PMs from the Moderator

Don’t quote a PM that you have received from the GM, whether it be your Role PM or an action result. Do not fake one either.

4. No posting after death

After you are dead in the game, you may no longer post in the game, except to make ONE “goodbye” post which reveals NO game info. You may not communicate with any player still in the game either.

5. No posting during the Night

This is to ensure that no info gained during the Night is revealed prematurely.

6. Bold your Votes and make them red

To vote for a player, make sure to highlight your vote by making it bold. You should also change the text color to red. This is to ensure that the Moderator sees the vote when making a count. It should look like this:
Vote: WoolyShambler

To unvote a player, make sure to bold your vote and make it blue.
Unvote: WoolyShambler

You can also point a "finger of suspicion" which has no bearing on the game itself, but is hilarious and can be used as evidence.  Please bold and make orange.
FOS: WoolyShambler

7. Send PMs to the Game Moderator

Send any Night actions to me within the time limit.  If I do not receive your night action PM by the deadline, it will be considered abstinence by default.  If you have any issues or questions concerning the game or roles, PM me.

Breaking rules will result in either a warning, replacement, action block, or mod-kill depending on the severity of the infringement.

8. I reserve the right to arbitrate any unforeseen conflict/paradoxes that may result at night.

Well, let's get this show on the road.  Hope you all have fun in advance!
« Last Edit: October 04, 2015, 07:00:09 am by woolyshambler »
[May 13, 2016, 02:26:28 pm]:   Elvis Strunk will do his best to shoot Eli with a full load.
Elvis Strunk [May 13, 2016, 02:26:45 pm]:   of bullets
Elvis Strunk [May 15, 2016, 03:31:49 pm]:   Knat's the best part of the harem, and the shortest lasting.
Jynx [May 15, 2016, 03:33:36 pm]:   Stop foreshadowing Knat's death
woolyshambler [May 15, 2016, 03:34:13 pm]:   foreshadowing death!? elvis wasn't foreshadowing knat's premature ejaculation problem?

Offline ShadowX

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2015, 01:14:42 am »
Can I vote for the opposite of an extension?
Spoiler
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much~💕

Offline Gamerjunkie

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2015, 01:16:46 am »
*sighs, rubbing his face* "It's been too long since that war started... Did I start it? I did, didn't I? And SHAME on you, shadow, for suggesting we shorten the amount of time at least one of us has with their waifu!"
rellimkram [Apr 03, 2016, 06:06:12 pm]:   Hyperspace Yuri Delivery: Service so fast we ship it before it's ever ordered
rellimkram [May 05, 2016, 03:42:02 pm]: I'm not sure if you're wanting Lola to tamper with school projectors to show porn during class, or if you want Lola to actually make porn during class
Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:33 pm]: "You're under arrest... but we're not confiscating any of your stuff, guarding you in any fashion, or trying to actually prevent you from leaving." Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:44 pm]: "We're good at copping."

Offline woolyshambler

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2015, 01:16:59 am »
Can I vote for the opposite of an extension?

What? Being lynched in VC mafia isn't enough for you?  You looking for a day 1 lynch here too?
[May 13, 2016, 02:26:28 pm]:   Elvis Strunk will do his best to shoot Eli with a full load.
Elvis Strunk [May 13, 2016, 02:26:45 pm]:   of bullets
Elvis Strunk [May 15, 2016, 03:31:49 pm]:   Knat's the best part of the harem, and the shortest lasting.
Jynx [May 15, 2016, 03:33:36 pm]:   Stop foreshadowing Knat's death
woolyshambler [May 15, 2016, 03:34:13 pm]:   foreshadowing death!? elvis wasn't foreshadowing knat's premature ejaculation problem?

Offline Jynx

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2015, 01:21:09 am »
*A sound of steering wheels fills the air*

*An Alpine A310 appears in the horizon*

I, myself, speak.

"Well, SHE IS late. I... Kind of expected it.
May I favour your buffet, Mr. WoolyShambler? I see that you are a man of fine tastes. I think she will prefer something stronger, though."

Offline Merne23

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2015, 09:32:39 am »
*Stands beside his waifu, having only launched surgical strikes and long-range missiles as offensives, and fought long and hard defending his own waifu(s, sometimes), just sighs at the opulence Wooly sees himself in.*
Oh goodie goodie gumdrop Snickers. Thanks Wooly, I was getting tired of all the bickering. Now if you'll excuse me...
*I wander off to find a bathroom.*

"You really are an idiot," mai waifu says as I turn a corner out of the room. She finds a couch and lays down the length of it. "Did anyone bring games?"

woolyshambler [Aug16, 2015, 10:13PM]: ah Merne, they should give you the RP guru badge. [Aug24, 2016, 07:54 pm]:   WeAreTheMeta believes one day Merne went to the sea. From that day on the sea has been salty. Gamerjunkie [Jan04, 2017, 12:09 am]: So wait. Are... are you masturbating right in front of Sylvia? Deeox2 [Feb26, 2017, 02:03am]: SO WE GET ON ANOTHER BOAT AND FUCK OFF TO ANTARCTICA. Revontulet [Apr07, 2017, 06:30am]: gotta seize the day like a tentacle monster Beemu seizes a busty Hein

Offline woolyshambler

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2015, 01:26:11 am »
*A sound of steering wheels fills the air*

*An Alpine A310 appears in the horizon*

I, myself, speak.

"Well, SHE IS late. I... Kind of expected it.
May I favour your buffet, Mr. WoolyShambler? I see that you are a man of fine tastes. I think she will prefer something stronger, though."

WoolyShambler gestures to the waiting buffet graciously, "But of course.  As for your waifu, please let her know the Red's acceptable tonight.  She's welcome to any of the other liquor set out of course, just ask Laura if you two need anything specific.  She makes a mean Altbierbowle."
[May 13, 2016, 02:26:28 pm]:   Elvis Strunk will do his best to shoot Eli with a full load.
Elvis Strunk [May 13, 2016, 02:26:45 pm]:   of bullets
Elvis Strunk [May 15, 2016, 03:31:49 pm]:   Knat's the best part of the harem, and the shortest lasting.
Jynx [May 15, 2016, 03:33:36 pm]:   Stop foreshadowing Knat's death
woolyshambler [May 15, 2016, 03:34:13 pm]:   foreshadowing death!? elvis wasn't foreshadowing knat's premature ejaculation problem?

Offline ShadowX

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2015, 01:26:56 am »
Can I vote for the opposite of an extension?

What? Being lynched in VC mafia isn't enough for you?  You looking for a day 1 lynch here too?
Would I get Scummies?
Spoiler
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much~💕

Offline Gamerjunkie

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2015, 09:38:16 am »
Can I vote for the opposite of an extension?

What? Being lynched in VC mafia isn't enough for you?  You looking for a day 1 lynch here too?
Would I get Scummies?
(Yes. I would personally award you the "Desperate" award, for being willing to be lynched on Day 1 just to get a scummie. :P )
rellimkram [Apr 03, 2016, 06:06:12 pm]:   Hyperspace Yuri Delivery: Service so fast we ship it before it's ever ordered
rellimkram [May 05, 2016, 03:42:02 pm]: I'm not sure if you're wanting Lola to tamper with school projectors to show porn during class, or if you want Lola to actually make porn during class
Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:33 pm]: "You're under arrest... but we're not confiscating any of your stuff, guarding you in any fashion, or trying to actually prevent you from leaving." Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:44 pm]: "We're good at copping."

Offline WhydidIbuytheunionfrigate

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2015, 01:30:29 am »
I walk from the opening gate of the town and see a large banner across it, "WELCOME TO PARADISE" it reads.

Imca: Hey, why are we here?
Spoiler

Me: What do you mean?

Imca: Why'd ya bring me to this forsaken shanty town? Ya better not be thinking about doing lewd things. I'll kill you if you make a move.

Imca has been with me after Kurt Irving, her former lover, (depending upon your choices in VC 3) dumped her for Riela Marcellis. I found her wandering the roads after the war with the empire was over. (partially true from the end of VC 3) After I dodged her initial hailstorm of bullets, she began to follow me around.

Imca: Shut up. You kidnapped me and took me around the universe or some dumb shit like that.

Me: Now, now, the portal that brought me here was from Wooly, I mean Dr. Sham and Laura. The invitation was for me, and I needed protection so I took you along.

Imca: Still doesn't explain why we're here.

Me: We're here to participate in a game. A fun little game called Mafia.

Imca: Tch. As long as I get to kill someone, I don't care. Also, if for some reason that Azure Witch shows up, (Selvaria. I hope no one chose her as a Waifu because we might have an issue) I can't promise that I won't kill her on the spot.

Me: Wait... don't you know she's dead?

Imca: I don't know what is real or not. For all I know, one of your, "friends" might've brought her back from the dead. In any case, let me find a place to rest myself and Var. (Big Freaking Gun she holds)

Me: Sure, let's go.

(I made the second Pic)

Offline ShadowX

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2015, 01:32:02 am »
Can I vote for the opposite of an extension?

What? Being lynched in VC mafia isn't enough for you?  You looking for a day 1 lynch here too?
Would I get Scummies?
(Yes. I would personally award you the "Desperate" award, for being willing to be lynched on Day 1 just to get a scummie. :P )
Lol. I still think 3 day Day 1 is too long. I think we should deprive people of their waifus as fast as possible. (People are going to target me because of this XD)

((Lol Y-buy "Dr. Sham"))
Spoiler
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much~💕

Offline Pal

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2015, 09:45:31 am »
*sits back and enjoys the inevitable fireworks*

Hey, ws, what happens to a waifu if the player gets lynched?

Heinrike [Nov 10, 2016, 11:00:11 am]: I'm bored too, but otherwise bored  Elvis Strunk [Dec 14, 2015, 01:43:59 AM]: Would make it easier to keep track of all the characters, at least. "They're all dead."
Eonymia [Dec 15, 2016, 10:14:17 pm]: Losers don't win, do drugs Arraxis [Feb 18, 2017, 03:12:47 am]: Slither me timbers

Offline ShadowX

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2015, 01:38:08 am »
Goes to the person who hammered the vote.
Spoiler
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don't mind me
Say, boy, let's not talk too much~💕

Offline woolyshambler

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2015, 01:39:33 am »
Hey, ws, what happens to a waifu if the player gets lynched?

WoolyShambler frowns at his uncouth guest for spoiling the jovial mood with grim talk such as that, but is too polite to point it out.

"Why, I imagine she would find herself distraught to the point of home isolation, the poor thing..."
[May 13, 2016, 02:26:28 pm]:   Elvis Strunk will do his best to shoot Eli with a full load.
Elvis Strunk [May 13, 2016, 02:26:45 pm]:   of bullets
Elvis Strunk [May 15, 2016, 03:31:49 pm]:   Knat's the best part of the harem, and the shortest lasting.
Jynx [May 15, 2016, 03:33:36 pm]:   Stop foreshadowing Knat's death
woolyshambler [May 15, 2016, 03:34:13 pm]:   foreshadowing death!? elvis wasn't foreshadowing knat's premature ejaculation problem?

Offline Gamerjunkie

Re: No Waifu (Or Husbando) No Laifu Mafia- Wooly Estate
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2015, 01:39:44 am »
*to Union* Well, someone's waifu is eager for violence.

]Lol. I still think 3 day Day 1 is too long. I think we should deprive people of their waifus as fast as possible.

Behind Shadow, an angelic figure appears, eyes slitted.
Spoiler
"And just what do you mean by that, weakling?"

*sighs* "Jibril, try not to kill anyone just yet. For now, I'd suggest you go play a game with Merne's waifu over there."
rellimkram [Apr 03, 2016, 06:06:12 pm]:   Hyperspace Yuri Delivery: Service so fast we ship it before it's ever ordered
rellimkram [May 05, 2016, 03:42:02 pm]: I'm not sure if you're wanting Lola to tamper with school projectors to show porn during class, or if you want Lola to actually make porn during class
Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:33 pm]: "You're under arrest... but we're not confiscating any of your stuff, guarding you in any fashion, or trying to actually prevent you from leaving." Elvis Strunk [Apr 03, 2017, 04:31:44 pm]: "We're good at copping."