Author Topic: Liberation Day beta text errors  (Read 1632 times)

Offline montagohalcyon

Liberation Day beta text errors
« on: December 02, 2015, 05:23:29 am »
After finishing Trails in the Sky SC, I finally got around to playing November's Sunrider beta.  Didn't have that much time today, so only at the peace conference, but the few changes I've had a chance to see so far are great!  However, I can't help but notice some text errors from previous versions still sticking around. 

Perhaps they're getting lost amidst other feedback, so I thought I'd start a separate topic specifically for them.  Others feel free to contribute.

Also, I sincerely hope this doesn't come across as annoying, low-priority, can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees nitpicking and apologize if it does.  Don't have knowledge of Ren'py scripting like many others or the sort of in-depth opinions on balancing a Space Whale veteran like Drath can offer, and on this particular beta I'm super late.  I want to try and help somehow though...

Spoiler
Lynn still says "What do you what?" in brig dialogue.
Spoiler
Admiral Grey still missing a "to" -- "The one who sits on this chair would cease be a man, and become a god."
Spoiler
Chigara fixing Kayto's teaset -- "I managed to gather up all the fragments and bond then back together, piece by piece."
Spoiler
Ava says the Sunrider will "remain to dry dock", should be "in"
Spoiler
Both Kayto and Kryska use the phrase "court marshal" when they mean "court martial"
Spoiler
Fontana -- "But it shall be time which whither away the wealth of the imperialists." Replace "whither" with "withers"
Spoiler
"Rememberence Day" should be "Remembrance Day"
Spoiler
Fontana at the peace conference -- "That is the tenant of the Treaty of Vespa."  "tenant" should definitely be "tenet", and it should probably read "is a key tenet of" or "is the central tenet of"
Spoiler
"Asaga lied awake on her bed." "lied" to "lay"
Spoiler
Alpha -- "Darkness gathers in the horizon." "in" should be "on"
Spoiler
Alpha -- "It will be us who leads humanity through its blackest hours." should be "we" and "lead"  Still sounds a bit off to me, I'd personally cut out "It will be" and just start the sentence "We will lead humanity..."
Spoiler
The choice after the battle with the Ryuvian Falcon has "scavage" instead of "scavenge"

Will add more as they appear, and remove if fixed in future betas.  I'm trying to avoid getting overly zealous about grammar and just note it if I am 101% sure there is actually a mistake.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2015, 03:10:28 am by montagohalcyon »

Offline Drath

Re: Liberation Day beta text errors
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2015, 08:47:03 am »
Also, I sincerely hope this doesn't come across as annoying, low-priority, can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees nitpicking and apologize if it does. 

There actually were several reviews in MoA that mentioned grammar/spelling. Personally they're not big issues for me, but if they affect reviews and Liberation Day is going to be commercialized, I think it's fair to say you want them fixed whenever convenient to prevent these things from affecting sales. From what I've seen, there are certainly a good number of players who focus on mostly the storyline and the artwork, when it comes to a VN audience.

I might not comment much on grammar and spelling (as a non-native English speaker, I prefer to leave to it to others) but I'm certainly appreciative that there are others who make the effort to do so. :)

I want to try and help somehow though...

Well we all contribute what we can, hence why I think it's good to have people from all walks of life. We actually had someone who commented quite deeply on enemy AI some time back, which I didn't know anything about lol. It's just that as a game drags on, you sometimes lose some old fans as they drift away (regrettably) and gain new ones.
I also feel most devs do realize that a good number of players criticize/give feedback because we are passionate about the game and would like see it get even better, and not because we are out to find fault. There are certainly a good number of games out there that I have played where I don't ever post on their forums or even bother to find out what their official forums are. I just can't drum up enough interest to do it (perhaps I didn't like the game at all or don't think my feedback would make any difference).

P/S - I'm actually a little jealous that you've already finished Trails in the Sky SC :P I've had my eye on it for quite a while but been too tied up with other things to really get down to it.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2015, 10:31:41 am by Drath »

Offline montagohalcyon

Re: Liberation Day beta text errors
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2015, 03:22:20 am »
Quote
I'm actually a little jealous that you've already finished Trails in the Sky SC

I hope you get the chance to play it soon!  The series as a whole, which I just discovered this summer, is my personal GOTY.  I'm assuming you've already played FC, but if not do that first or you might be slightly confused. :P

Oh, and thanks for the encouragement. :)

Offline CoryADS

Re: Liberation Day beta text errors
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2015, 04:40:42 pm »
Maybe: Alpha -- "It will be us who leads humanity through its blackest hours." could be replaced with "It will be us who'll lead humanity through its blackest hours."
Just a thought?

Offline Vaendryl

Re: Liberation Day beta text errors
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2015, 05:58:53 pm »
Maybe: Alpha -- "It will be us who leads humanity through its blackest hours." could be replaced with "It will be us who'll lead humanity through its blackest hours."
Just a thought?

I think the turn of phrase  "it will be us who will" is a bit superfluous. seems fine as is to me.
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