Author Topic: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories  (Read 1739 times)

Offline Commander Zaelthul

This is a list me and a friend created after a discussion about Dakimakuras.
Basically the rules are:
1. They will be in your bedroom.
2. You have to make a reasonable excuse for having said object other than it's obvious purpose.

That's all.
If you lot have any suggestions, suggest away!

1. Dakimakura
2. Stripper Pole
3. Collection of Barbie Dolls.
4. Pony Pillow (Preferably MLP)
5. Opposite gender clothing and/or cosplay clothing
6. 1:1 scale of any character that has a cult following (eg. Sherlock, Sola)
7. Blow-up sex doll (Preferably Top Gun Tom Cruise).
8. Anarchist's cookbook.
9. Contradicting religious books.
10. Altar to anything (Like a fictional character)
11. Massage chair with empathise on the Crundel.
12. A portrait of Farmers with eyes cut-out.
13. Fake roast chicken on bed accompanied by a portrait of Naked Nicholas Cage
14. Love heart pillow with picture of an ex or "waifu".
15. "Pray the gay-away" Pamphlet.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 09:26:26 am by Zaelthul »
The Great Commandy one
Commander Zael'thul of the Legion of Cynics
"In the Temple of Wheat, we trust in our holy goddess"
The Goddess protects!

Offline Ledabot

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2014, 08:39:43 am »
I can do the dolls and the clothes. I blame my sister for leaving them there. Blaming sisters is useful and this works twice as well when you claim they're only still their becasue you don't clean your room anyway so why would you clean out someone elses stuff.

Offline MasterFail

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2014, 09:46:16 am »
Eh, I'm far too lazy to make up stories. I usually go for maximum awkwardness to end those questions. "Why are there plush handcuffs and a whip lying around?" - "Sex stuff. You want details?" - "Nah, I'm fine. Pretend I never asked."

Online Elvis Strunk

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2014, 09:58:25 am »
Most of these are meant of the sake of comedy, though they're also at least partly true. Which parts are true? I'll never tell!

1. Dakimakura
---My parents already know I like Japanese stuff, so I could just say that it's a collectable and possibly get away with it. Also possible to blame it on my family. They're obsessed with corrupting me into a weird sex maniac. Hah. Too late.
2. Stripper Pole
---With how often I complain about the size of my room, they'd be really confused as to why I'd put something in it to make it even smaller. That would likely be the extent that they'd care, unless I'd also brought the stripper.
3. Collection of Barbie Dolls.
---My mother has always believed that there is no difference between Barbie Dolls and any other toys, and probably wouldn't care, and my father would likely assume I got them to look at them naked. He did get me a deck of naked playing cards once. I hadn't asked or brought up anything of the sort. He just gave them to me. It was weird.
4. Pony Pillow (Preferably MLP)
---Could say I'd bought it to give to my mother at the next present-giving-event. She'd probably like it.
5. Opposite gender clothing and/or cosplay clothing
Would say it was my mothers and had gotten mixed up in the laundry. It's actually happened before so they might buy it.
6. 1:1 scale of any character that has a cult following (eg. Sherlock, Sola)
---Would likely have been given item by father in the first place. If not he could apperciate my taste.
7. Blow-up sex doll (Preferably Top Gun Tom Cruise).
---Uh. I'll get back to you on that one.
8. Anarchist's cookbook.
---My mother finds stuff like making bombs or creating stuff that could kill thousands of people fun to research. Not to actually do it. Just... actually, I'm not sure why. Maybe I should be worried.
9. Contradicting religious books.
---I'd have to explain why I was actually reading about religion. We've mostly always just guessed.
10. Altar to anything (Like a fictional character)
---Strangely enough I could probably get away with this one too. Difficulty changes depending on which character it is.
11. Massage chair with empathise on the Crundel.
---They would both ask to use it to 'fix their back pain'. I'd never see it again.
12. A portrait of Farmers with eyes cut-out.
---Actually I have one of these hanging on the wall that they see often. It's part of my summoning spell that never seems to work for some reason. Never SEEMS to work.
13. Fake roast chicken on bed accompanied by a portrait of Naked Nicholas Cage
---Well, he IS one of my mother's top five favorite actors. Also I could say I ws planning a weird prank on my nephew for next time he visited. Like that time we convinced him someone had murdered us all. Good times.
14. Love heart pillow with picture of an ex or "waifu".
---Would say it was given by the ex. Would continue to say such when pointed out it was of an anime character.
15. "Pray the gay-away" Pamphlet.
---I saw it on the street and liked the color scheme okay? Gosh.

It helps to have weird parents.

Offline Lord Gorchnik

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2014, 01:37:06 pm »
Gorchnik owned all of these items once upon a time; then got married.  Now Gorchnik just snuggles wife every night.  Much more relaxing than pillow that loses fluffiness after a while. 

Offline Oreo_Blue

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2014, 03:00:25 pm »
Gorchnik owned all of these items once upon a time; then got married.  Now Gorchnik just snuggles wife every night.  Much more relaxing than pillow that loses fluffiness after a while. 

You can buy a new pillow every now and then. As for wife....

Offline Commander Zaelthul

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2014, 06:32:28 pm »
Gorchnik owned all of these items once upon a time; then got married.  Now Gorchnik just snuggles wife every night.  Much more relaxing than pillow that loses fluffiness after a while. 

You can buy a new pillow every now and then. As for wife....
Well if you were in the slave trade then your perspective might look up.
The Great Commandy one
Commander Zael'thul of the Legion of Cynics
"In the Temple of Wheat, we trust in our holy goddess"
The Goddess protects!

Offline Lord Gorchnik

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2014, 01:35:00 am »
Gorchnik owned all of these items once upon a time; then got married.  Now Gorchnik just snuggles wife every night.  Much more relaxing than pillow that loses fluffiness after a while. 

You can buy a new pillow every now and then. As for wife....
Well if you were in the slave trade then your perspective might look up.

Slaves are common her in Uberstein.  Gorchnik uses them as stepping stones, not pillows though.

Offline The Loli Assassin

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2014, 02:07:13 am »
Gorchnik owned all of these items once upon a time; then got married.  Now Gorchnik just snuggles wife every night.  Much more relaxing than pillow that loses fluffiness after a while. 

You can buy a new pillow every now and then. As for wife....
Well if you were in the slave trade then your perspective might look up.

Slaves are common her in Uberstein.  Gorchnik uses them as stepping stones, not pillows though.

Lolis make excellent pillows. However, due to dwindling supply (they keep getting older, damn it) and lack of shared cloning technology (ahem) I can't export any to your great nation.
"A large [enemy] fleet has been [detected]. They are fifteen miles away and headed in our direction. They are believed to have four battleships, eight cruisers, and a number of destroyers. This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can." - Ernest E. Evans, Commander, USS Johnston (DD-557)

Offline Endershadow

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #9 on: May 11, 2014, 03:08:12 am »
1. Dakimakura
---My parents already know I like Japanese stuff, so I could just say that it's a collectable and possibly get away with it. Also possible to blame it on my family. They're obsessed with corrupting me into a weird sex maniac. Hah. Too late.

It... it worked... kinda. Now I just have to hope that she doesn't find where I hid them. She hasn't seen them yet and I told her that the characters aren't naked (she asked if they were). I could always go with technicalities if she finds them though... it probably won't work though. Any suggestions on what I can do in the event that she finds them?

Please be careful not to fall into any holes in reality caused by my reality hole generator. If you do fall in though, I can assure you that there will be no adverse side effects except for the following: instantaneous mutation, loss of 1 or more vital organs, turning into banana pudding, amnesia, loss/growth of 1 or more limbs, additional vital organs, loss of DNA, insanity, hallucinations, destruction of the fabric of space and time, redundancy, redundancy, a craving for apples, the ability to see shinigami, for females: an erection lasting more than 4 hours, for males: extremely painful menstrual cramps, testicular inversion, gender swapping, the urge to watch my little pony, and/or death

Offline The Loli Assassin

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #10 on: May 11, 2014, 04:42:26 am »
1. Dakimakura
---My parents already know I like Japanese stuff, so I could just say that it's a collectable and possibly get away with it. Also possible to blame it on my family. They're obsessed with corrupting me into a weird sex maniac. Hah. Too late.

It... it worked... kinda. Now I just have to hope that she doesn't find where I hid them. She hasn't seen them yet and I told her that the characters aren't naked (she asked if they were). I could always go with technicalities if she finds them though... it probably won't work though. Any suggestions on what I can do in the event that she finds them?

Assuming you're of age in your country of residence you could always just say that it's legal for you to buy these things and that she should be thankful it isn't something worse.
"A large [enemy] fleet has been [detected]. They are fifteen miles away and headed in our direction. They are believed to have four battleships, eight cruisers, and a number of destroyers. This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can." - Ernest E. Evans, Commander, USS Johnston (DD-557)

Offline Endershadow

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2014, 05:44:44 am »
1. Dakimakura
---My parents already know I like Japanese stuff, so I could just say that it's a collectable and possibly get away with it. Also possible to blame it on my family. They're obsessed with corrupting me into a weird sex maniac. Hah. Too late.

It... it worked... kinda. Now I just have to hope that she doesn't find where I hid them. She hasn't seen them yet and I told her that the characters aren't naked (she asked if they were). I could always go with technicalities if she finds them though... it probably won't work though. Any suggestions on what I can do in the event that she finds them?

Assuming you're of age in your country of residence you could always just say that it's legal for you to buy these things and that she should be thankful it isn't something worse.

Unfortunately, I'm not of the legal age yet. If I was, that would be my excuse. I still have a year and 3 months to go. Although this isn't the worst I've seen/had

Please be careful not to fall into any holes in reality caused by my reality hole generator. If you do fall in though, I can assure you that there will be no adverse side effects except for the following: instantaneous mutation, loss of 1 or more vital organs, turning into banana pudding, amnesia, loss/growth of 1 or more limbs, additional vital organs, loss of DNA, insanity, hallucinations, destruction of the fabric of space and time, redundancy, redundancy, a craving for apples, the ability to see shinigami, for females: an erection lasting more than 4 hours, for males: extremely painful menstrual cramps, testicular inversion, gender swapping, the urge to watch my little pony, and/or death

Online Elvis Strunk

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #12 on: May 11, 2014, 08:11:48 pm »
If all else fails, just remember that you have the power of running away really fast.

Offline Lord Gorchnik

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2014, 01:05:45 am »
Gorchnik says you should be ashamed of yourself!  Don't you know these are not for kids!

Offline green goo

Re: List of stuff that'll create interesting on-the-spot stories
« Reply #14 on: June 16, 2014, 10:56:23 pm »
bige card board cut otu of soem film star and what not.. did work i nretailingand didn ot feel liek chucking it i nthe bin.

sexy pillowand what not..

wel what do yo utihnk ther for??? dotn wnat to knwo donat ask ....

cosplay stuff. simple i liek cosplay and went ot conventions when i wasa little younger and colected autographs. wasa fun day out and the ladys did not grouse out so much when you lear at them i nther.... cosplay stuff.

 an alter... what it'sa an alter?? oh.. i thougt it was a funny side table i can put random stuff on.. ... himmm oh well it a stuill nice ot display my figureing coelction so  hay so what.

Pony Pillow (Preferably MLP)?? what that... no i mean it what is that???  it kidna looked odd and it firect with the alter tihngy  in the orner......... so what is a Pony Pillow (Preferably MLP) supose to be used for??? as i clealry have no clue.

a Dakimakura yes what abotu it???  yes i knwo what it is and it stil larticica kidna cute. what the issue i' ma grown man.


ladys clothes.... what... a freind soem tiem crashes here. and soem time she hasa n itch she need scratching..... what the problem shi'll get areound ot coltecting them soem tiem next week when she back in town.

"Pray the gay-away" Pamphlet. it'sa what??? oh ok wel lther the bin yoru holding it you cna bin it not my consern  i jsut used it to scribble down yoru  phone number on.

Contradicting religious books.
i stucie phlosay and socalionalgy???? if yo udont udner stnad abotu the faith soem oen has how the bleep are yu goign to under stand that aspect of who they are??  but if your reall ythat intested yo ucan read the essy i'm writing over there on my lap top.... yes the one that curently playing a shadow dancer vid.

Anarchist's cookbook. i colect cook books... what do you means .. no i never read it.  i dotn actlay read cook books i jsut coelct them so it looks liek i can cook......... oh.. it's that sort of cooking.......hmm now that may be useful.... when my BBQ wont start liek last year's.

A portrait of Farmers with eyes cut-out. what it not a cd cover...... oh.. hmm now that is kidn a grose now you mention it........ i'll be back i na minuet i feel a little ill.

Collection of Barbie Dolls. ??? oh them that my nice's birthday present.

 Love heart pillow with picture of an ex or "waifu". what abotu it?? i'm a single bloke!!! who love anima.. any how  i never complaied abotu yoru dildo colection.

Stripper Pole.   hmm yess now that was a fun night. and it only cost me £50.. pritty cheap too. and if you look you can still see where the 10 dancers signed it as part of that raffle prize.... which was blimmly coool.. i can tell you. nar you at lest are all natraul lass. much nicer...


Massage chair with empathise on the Crundel. oh is that what that funtion duse...hmm now that my be usful for later... what.. you dotn liek it liek that... hmm oh well at lest you have class which is nice.

Fake roast chicken on bed accompanied by a portrait of Naked Nicholas Cage yep my friend with benfits like Nicholas Cage whiel i ws jsut planign ot turn that rubber chinen into a bit of war gamign terain... we she was here last night and if you look o nthe back yo uwil lsee her next week work scadual.

whip cuff and lether gear. well... yes i'm a bit ofa dom what cna i say. but luckly you dotn look likea sub soen we'll proalby not get ot play with them.

Blow-up sex doll (Preferably Top Gun Tom Cruise). yer i was in retail and.... yo uwil lbe suprise at the things you have to sell in some shops... but at lest  that freidn i mentioned likes ot use it... that why it stil lcover in loob she for got ot wash it. and i'm not even goign ot touch it out of.. persoanly santaiy safty.


jsut a few random answers that may amuse, shock or just confuse you. and no none of that is remotlay true.

but it's fun writing fiction.